The Rules of a Smart Wife. You're either right or married

What are the «rules of a smart wife» and why are they needed (excerpt from the book).  

When we wrote «The Rules» in 1995, we studied everything that works and what doesn’t work during courtship. We noticed that women who are «hard to get» always get their men, while overly available or anxious women often fail. We compiled 35 rules that help women become desirable to men: «don’t initiate conversation with men», «end the date first», and others. No matter how difficult they may be, for the first 3-4 months of a relationship, they should be followed. In some cases, it’s worth adhering to them until the man proposes: after that, you already understand that he is ready to take on commitments and you can relax a bit.
Marriage is a long-term venture, so the «rules of a smart wife» are not as strict, but should become a way of life. Dating rules are like a short diet: you shouldn’t have sex right away, ideally, remain mysterious for several months, so he loses his head over you... (practically the same as refusing dessert for a few months to fit into your swimsuit by summer). The «rules of a smart wife» are a lifelong plan. Anyone can lose five kilograms, but not everyone can maintain that result. Many women manage to catch a man, but how many of them are happy in marriage? Our task this time is not to catch a man, but to retain him. And for that, you need to make him happy so that he feels significant. You should be sensitive, know how to play as a team and... something else — put in all efforts not to nag your husband and support his ideas and proposals. And for that, hard work is needed.

Unfortunately, a large part of the emotional work in marriage will fall on you — whether you like it or not. It’s not mutual. Proof? Think about it: you are reading this book, not your husband. He is probably reading a thriller or a book on how to make more money in the stock market. We are not generalizing. That’s just life. Your partner may not even like that you are reading this book or discussing your family problems with friends or your mother. Like most men, he doesn’t like discussing his personal life with outsiders and believes that you can solve your problems together with him, so we do not recommend discussing this book with your husband or asking him to read it. Even if he agrees with most of our recommendations, he won’t like that you had to read a book to understand how to relate to him.
In reality, for family life to be happy, a woman should treat her husband like a client she wants to retain (he is always right). You might be thinking: «Why can’t we live as equals? Why shouldn’t he act as you advise, meaning he doesn’t start a quarrel first and initiates reconciliation first?» Our answer is simple: because that’s life. Men and women are different. They play different roles during courtship when the man is supposed to be the hunter. And in marriage, when much of the emotional work in relationships falls on the shoulders of women. We are not going to change this. We would be happy to give you different advice, but ours are based on human nature, like it or not. And that’s why they work. So don’t try to make your partner play your role. Maybe he will, and maybe he won’t. But if you do your job, he will definitely respond. He will be happy and want you to be with him forever. As one recently married businesswoman who came to us for advice said: «You have to work so much with men! Every woman needs to work hard when entering into a relationship with a man. If she needs your "rules of a smart wife," there’s nothing wrong with that. Some women know a bit more about this than others, but we all need reminders.”
This is why we present to you the «rules of a smart wife». Some rules will be harder for you than others. But in the pursuit of perfection, we all make mistakes. The main thing is to start and not to give up. Soon you will want to follow the rules of marriage because they actually work! Good luck!

Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider — authors of the super bestsellers «The Rules», «The New Rules» and «The Rules of a Smart Wife».