Perfection That Interferes with Life. Who Are Narcissists, How to Understand Them and What to Do If You Are a Narcissist

The new book by the famous psychologist Vladislav Chubarov is about narcissists. It will be useful not only for relatives of those with narcissistic traits, their colleagues, and codependent partners, but also, and very importantly, for them. In most books... about narcissists, the discussion does not go beyond condemnation, but this one clearly outlines what to do if you are one. The author sincerely admits that he himself has prominent narcissistic traits; he acknowledges this, works through it, and lives with awareness, accepting himself and understanding how he affects others. This makes his advice to readers all the more valuable. The book is written without pity for narcissists, but with a complete understanding of them. It examines their peculiarities in various manifestations (shame, arrogance, hyper-control, boredom, fear of others' judgments, fear of rejection, inability to connect, emotional coldness, etc.), analyzes the difference between narcissism and other mental disorders, particularly bipolar disorder. The book describes the reasons for the manifestation of narcissistic traits, provides a typology of narcissists (with examples), and defines the core of the concept itself (spoiler: the inaccessibility of understanding and accepting one's true self + the thirst to conform to an ideal and therefore unattainable image). Methods for interacting with narcissists and their interactions with themselves are provided. In general, this is an excellent and concise guide to understanding narcissists. Here’s what the author himself writes: This book is about what a narcissistic character really is, what advantages it gives and what sufferings it causes. We will talk about perfection and vulnerability, enthusiasm and boredom, arrogance and the sense of one's own insignificance. Without prejudice or judgment, we will explore where such unglamorous feelings come from, such as shame and envy. Narcissism does not necessarily mean lifelong loneliness and a fatal inability to connect. I will discuss ways in which a narcissist can, while remaining vibrant, become warmer, and forms of self-expression that can help quench the thirst for authenticity right now. We will also talk about how to form business and personal relationships with someone who has pronounced narcissistic traits. We will dig deep so that the reader, feeling a connection with "these narcissists," understands: it is in their power to reduce narcissistic suffering, decrease dependence on evaluations and comparisons, and finally draw clear water from the well of their authenticity – their own true "self."