The World of the Narcissistic Victim: Relationships in the Context of Modern Neurosis

Psychologists talk about an epidemic of narcissism. Today's world demands compliance with an increasing number of requirements - we must demonstrate leadership qualities and creativity, think positively, constantly learn, work very hard, and earn well. In this world, there is no place for fatigue, bad mood, wrong choices, crisis of values, and other phenomena that accompany ordinary human life. All this reinforces people with narcissistic trauma, convinced that they are not good enough as they are. They demand of themselves (as perhaps their parents demanded of them in childhood or what a narcissistic partner expects of them as adults) an ideal. And since they are unable to achieve it, they consider the only option to be tolerating the unsatisfactory circumstances of their lives and traumatic relationships.
Only the awareness of traumatic experience allows one to make it part (a useful part!) of their personality and restore their own integrity. The book by psychologist Anastasia Dolganova discusses how to recognize the roots and manifestations of narcissism (this is aided by numerous client stories that the author presents) and find a path to one's true self and healthy relationships with others.

The book consists of three parts - "Masochism", "Narcissism" and "Trauma".
In the first part, the author describes the foundations of the thinking of a person with narcissistic trauma that justifies and nourishes their suffering (he will return to you after the affairs; endure, soldier, you will be a general; children are difficult; if you are not tired, you haven't worked; if you haven't lived richly, there's no point in starting; you cannot not love apples, they are vitamins). And how beliefs that cut a person off from their feelings and needs influence their behavior and contribute to reproducing the same scenarios in their lives - provocation of aggression, self-sabotage, self-destruction, psychosomatic illnesses.
The second part discusses how the narcissistic victim themselves becomes a narcissist. How pain and emptiness drive them to seek resources outside - demanding unconditional love and absolute acceptance, which is associated with violating the boundaries of others and creating unhealthy relationships.
The third part reveals how the therapy for narcissistic trauma is carried out and how one can take the first steps towards recovery independently.

Modern culture offers us more and more choices - places to live, work, and formats of relationships. It would seem, live and rejoice. However, not everyone is rejoicing. Many of us spend many years working at unloved jobs, living with unloved people, and reconciling ourselves with an unloved self. Anastasia Dolganova's book will help understand the reasons for dissatisfaction and overcome the feeling of helplessness in the face of a seemingly cruel world. This is exactly the case when the awareness of the problem is already a significant step towards overcoming it.

This book will be useful to everyone. According to specialists, there are many people with narcissistic trauma or experience - one in ten with pronounced traits and every first person with narcissistic stereotypes in behavior, relationships, and self-perception.

o The world will accept me only when I am outstanding, better than everyone;
o the true me (my personality, my true feelings and needs) do not deserve recognition and love;
o if people see who I really am, they will reject me;
o the needs and feelings of my partner/friends/colleagues are more important than mine; I must abandon my desires and ambitions in their favor.

If such feelings are familiar to you, you will find in the book information that will help change your relationships with yourself and others.

Anastasia Dolganova is one of the three most popular specialists in narcissism in Russia. Her book is the first book about the narcissistic victim published in Russian.