He Started It! What to Do If Children Are Quarreling
They are quarreling again. Again there are screams, crying, or even fighting. Or perhaps the teacher or class supervisor called you to tell you that your child has had another conflict with someone? The first reaction of any parent is...
to stop the quarrel, punish the guilty (or even all participants), or give a lecture on how well-behaved children should act. But Daniele Novara, a well-known Italian child psychologist, educator, and conflict specialist, thinks otherwise. And he insists that every parent should reconsider their attitude towards children's quarrels! With simple explanations and numerous examples, the author proves that it is extremely important to give children the opportunity to resolve contentious situations on their own. After all, suppressing children's conflicts by adults and imposing reconciliation negatively affects the development of social skills and the ability to build interpersonal relationships. A children's quarrel allows us to realize what is inherent in our very nature: the ability to coexist with one another while expressing our dissatisfaction. Moreover, the method developed by the author will help parents overcome the anxiety that by allowing children's quarrels, they are acting incorrectly and that the children might suffer.
They are quarreling again. Again there are screams, crying, or even fighting. Or perhaps the teacher or class supervisor called you to tell you that your child has had another conflict with someone? The first reaction of any parent is to stop the quarrel, punish the guilty (or even all participants), or give a lecture on how well-behaved children should act. But Daniele Novara, a well-known Italian child psychologist, educator, and conflict specialist, thinks otherwise. And he insists that every parent should reconsider their attitude towards children's quarrels! With simple explanations and numerous examples, the author proves that it is extremely important to give children the opportunity to resolve contentious situations on their own. After all, suppressing children's conflicts by adults and imposing reconciliation negatively affects the development of social skills and the ability to build interpersonal relationships. A children's quarrel allows us to realize what is inherent in our very nature: the ability to coexist with one another while expressing our dissatisfaction. Moreover, the method developed by the author will help parents overcome the anxiety that by allowing children's quarrels, they are acting incorrectly and that the children might suffer.
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